My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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