i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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