Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize