mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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