i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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