I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Tell her she can't have a vagina
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize