Screwed.edu
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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