u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize