im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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