his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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