i just google imaged poop.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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