so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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