You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
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Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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