Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize