I got her a Nickelback box set.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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