You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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