I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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