unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize