he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize