she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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