Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
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And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
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You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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