ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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