You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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