Barsexuality is the new black.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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