did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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