im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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