We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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