If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Congratulations! We have a period
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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