I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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