I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
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I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
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ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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