We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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