im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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