Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Congratulations! We have a period
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