Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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