I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize