GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize