Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize