After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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