I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I pour the whiskey from now on
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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