fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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