How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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