when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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