i was born a porn star she said
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize