Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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