There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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