Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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