i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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