sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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