do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
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He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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