Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
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sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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