wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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